The quality of George Lucas’ film making skills have been the subject of much debate for the past decade. But no one can deny the fact that 35 years ago today he changed the world as we know it. Star Wars was a tour de force and geekdom will forever be in his debt. Thank you George Lucas and a very Happy Anniversary to you.
Believe it or not, this outfit was totally unintentional. I happened to be wearing this for errands and we saw the movie on a whim.
I use to play Battleship with my brother for hours on end when we were kids. Moving our little red pegs around and gleefully shouting “you sunk my battleship!” It was a fun way to connect with our Dad when he was off on WestPacs. We kept it readily available at all times as demonstrated by this picture of my paternal grandma and maternal grandpa starting a game.
Can you guess what year it was by the lovely carpet?
It was obvious from the get go that any movie based on this past time would not and could not bear any resemblance to the game. There is no plot, no characters, just some gray plastic ships and a peg board. I went to see this movie for one reason and one reason only. Because movies depicting the US Navy are few and far between and I wanted to see how they depicted the life I grew up with, however unrealistic the alien plot line may be.
No aliens were harmed in the raising of my brother and I
Beware: I try not to spoil things too much but I’m sure I do so just be warned.
The basic plotline is as follows: Guy is lazy but smart and has no direction in his life so his older brother forces (yeah right) him to join him in the Navy. Flash forward 5 years and various Naval fleets from around the world are participating in RimPac off the coast of Hawaii. Guy doesn’t like one of the Japanese Captains and the feeling is mutual. Naturally they get stranded together by aliens and have to work together to save Earth with the help of a pop star, a Power Ranger, and a guy who looks kind of like Matt Damon. Oh yeah, and there’s a subplot about his girlfriend who just happens to be the Admiral’s daughter (isn’t she always?) who is in a completely different area but also helps save the world with the help of a real life hero and Dr. Doom’s Assistant.
-
I very rarely look at any reviews until after I’ve seen a movie and written my own review because I want to formulate my own opinion and I usually don’t agree with those other people anyways. Even though I still have not read any of the reviews for Battleship, I went into this movie expecting to hate it. Maybe it’s because I had such low expectations but I actually really enjoyed it. It’s no Avengers but I laughed throughout while it poked fun at itself.
I could identify with this movie in a few ways. My Dad was stationed at Pearl Harbor from 1972-1976 during the tail end of the Vietnam conflict (and long before I was born). He loved it there and it was one of the few aspects of his long military career that he would discuss freely with us kids. During this time he participated in a RimPac in which one of the subs in his squadron played a joke on the Australian ships and nearly caused an international incident with the Aussies. So yes, it’s been known to happen. One very minor detail that 99.9% of the people watching this movie won’t even notice but that made my heart skip a beat was seeing them use wax pencils and remembering watching my Dad use them. He always had one or two tucked neatly into his desk drawer and I would use them like crayons. I LOVED tugging the string. More years than I care to admit later and I’m still using USS Samuel Gompers nuclear work procedure notepads for scratch paper.
Duh.
The only parts of the movie that are anything like the board game is the use of the NOAA buoys to track the alien ships and the torpedoes used by the aliens. The humans RADAR is knocked out by the aliens and, for some reason that isn’t explained, the aliens can’t seem to see them either so a screen that shows the movement of waves hitting the buoys acts as the pegboard. It was actually pretty cool. My biggest complaint is that it only lasted a few minutes before they moved on to the “they don’t like the sun” theory. The torpedoes used by the aliens look kind of like the pegs used in the game and stick in the hull for a few seconds before they explode. I got a kick out of that.
The least convincing of the Naval officers was the main protagonist Lieutenant Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch). His attitude and complete disregard for the rules would never be tolerated (and to the credit of the movie makers, almost wasn’t). I’m sorry, but there’s no way he’d make it through OCS and be an O-3 within 5 years and be so insubordinate. That being said, I kind of dig his weird robot surfer dude way of talking and he’s got great comedic timing.
Commander Stone Hopper (Alexander Skarsgård) is more believable as an officer but he still seems like an actor who’s pretending to play war games. His default expression is to stare wide-eyed, kind of like Amnesia Eric on True Blood. My favorite part? The part pictured above. It was the most emotion I ever saw from him. But I love Alex, he’s defintely worth nerdgasaming over and he fills out his dress whites very nicely.
The Admiral’s daughter, Samantha Shane (Brooklyn Decker) makes her entrance via a sexy slo-mo walk into the dive bar where Alex and Stone are hanging out celebrating Alex’s birthday. He immediately locks onto her position and attempts to sweet talk her but all she wants is a chicken burrito. His hilarious attempt to get her one wins her over and, I’m not gonna lie, it would probably impress me too. She’s a gorgeous girl but I have yet to see a fabulous acting job from Mrs. Roddick.
Lieutenant Colonel Mick Canales is played by Colonel Gregory D. Gadson, an Army Veteran and double amputee. He was my favorite of the main characters. He had a couple of cheesy lines that didn’t seem so cheesy coming from him. He also gets into a badass, no holds barred fist fight with one of the aliens that had me cheering. I hope I get to see much more of him in future films.
Aside from implying that the Japanese have been spying on us all this time using our tsunami tracking systems, I thought Captain Yugi Nagata (Tadanobu Asano) was pretty cool. He likes to poke fun at the punk white kid which is all fun and games until he sucker kicks him in the face during a soccer match. That was not so cool. He makes up for it though by being a valuable member of the alien annihilation team and showing off the mad gun skillz he learned at summer camp when he was a kid.
The thing that pissed me off most before even seeing the movie was the fact that Rihanna was in it. I mean seriously. A pop star with a history of very bad decision making as a passable Naval Petty Officer? Please. But I was shocked (shocked I tell you!) to find that I actually didn’t mind her. She did alright and I even forgot that she was Rihanna at times.
Liam Neeson is always great. The man shows up, talks like a badass for a few minutes and goes home. What a life! At the end of the film soon-to-be LCDR Alex asks Admiral Shane if he can marry his daughter and the Admiral says no. He then beckons Alex to join him for lunch while they negotiate the terms of his surrender. I laughed out loud. That is absolutely positively something that my Dad would say.
The rest of the non-redshirt Navy personal is rounded by Ordy and The Beast (Jesse Plemons and John Tui). I thought Ordy was hilarious. He was kind of like Checkov in the Star Trek redux. A boy wonder who looks like he’s way too young to be there but just happens to have the knowledge needed to get us back in business. Beast is the wall everyone leans on. He’s calm and collected 99.9% of the time but isn’t afraid to yell in the face of his newly minted CO when he makes an absurd decision that will get everyone killed.
Adam Godley is the NASA scientist who creates and builds the communications array that draws the aliens to Earth. Once they get here he doesn’t know what the fuck to do so he relies on the crackpot scientist (Hamish Linklater) assigned to the satellites on Hawaii to figure it out. Cal almost chickens out but then grows a pair just in time to help out Sam and Mick.
The best part of the whole movie for me was when all the shiny new Destroyers are *ahem* destroyed and the few remaining sailors start eyeballing the “Mighty Mo,” a battleship that served from WWII to Operation Desert Storm. But wait! They don’t have enough people to operate the ship! But wait! Thar be old salts among us! The Veteran “Old Salts” are fantastic. I could totally picture my Dad and my Grandpa (the one playing Battleship up above) reacting in the exact same way. Plus, they have some of the greatest facial hair I’ve ever seen.
Random things I didn’t like:
The spinning fire balls of death killing all of the Marines. My brother is a Marine. It made me sad. I also didn’t understand why the spinning balls decided that a freeway overpass was a threat other than maybe they are sadistic and just wanted to watch cars plummet to the street below.
The slo-mo montage of pretty people. It was a bit too Michael Bay-ish.
The weakest point was the aliens. With their armor on they were kind of a HALO rip-off.
Which one is Master Chief?
With their armor off they were vaguely reminiscent of the Tharks from John Carter of Mars (rather ironic since the film stars the guy who played John Carter) and Vincent from Beauty and the Beast.
They have weird porcupine quill beards and lizard eyes that are apparently their only weakness. They were dumb.
Random things I DID like:
Cal Zapata (Hamish Linklater), the NASA scientist working at the satellite outpost in Hawaii. He was funny and quirky. I especially loved the scene when he’s skyping with another scientist and all the various agencies (NASA, Dept of Defense) turn up on the line.
LT Hopper hurriedly explaining to a young boy the difference between a Battleship and a Destroyer. It reminded me of when I’d go onboard my Dad’s ships and his coworkers would try to explain things to me. It went right over my head 99% of the time but it was so much fun.
The “I’m giving ‘em all she’s got” moment when the USS John Paul Jones fires every available weapon at an alien ship blinded by the sun. Great visual fx.
The joke about the North Koreans being responsible for the force field. Hahahaha. Yeah right. As if.
It was a totally cliché line but I like the way “Mahalo mutha fucka” sounds even though “mahalo” means “thank you” so the line made absolutely no sense in the context it was given.
The really weird back and forth, back and forth explosion caused by the alien torpedoes.
Mick the amputee: “we can buy the world another day!” Cal the scientist: “who talks like that?!?” This movie knew exactly what it was and wasn’t shy about making fun of itself.
Acquiring courage.
The Museum-to-Battleship transformation that the USS Missouri goes through has a definite Battlestar Galactica feel to it. I even made a note of it. Then, once the Mighty Mo is in full fight mode against the aliens and the force field finally comes down, the Admiral sends in a fighter jet. What is the pilot’s callsign you ask? Boomer! I have no idea if that was intentional or not but I just about flipped the frak out.
Oh, and remind me to bring my Gompers notepad to write notes on next time.
3 out of 5 Sci-fives!
It could happen….
About a week before The Avengers came out in theatres I participated in a World’s Best Podcast discussion about the Marvel Cinematic Universe films. We discussed Hulk (briefly), The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Thor, and Captain America. We also got into why the Marvel movies seem to be outdoing the DC movies (with the notable exception of the Christopher Nolan Batman films).
I was still sick when we did this so there are moments when my voice cracks and I sound like a 13 year old boy going through puberty. Since I typically dress like a 13 year old boy it was actually pretty fitting.
You might also notice that I got really excited and more talkative during the Thor part. What can I say? He’s my favorite comic book character 
Thanks to Isaac and the guys at World’s Best Podcast for another fabulous evening of nerd talk. It’s always a pleasure! Hope you enjoy our discussion:
As per usual, if the above player takes too long to buffer, just click here to listen: http://tinmanfrisbie.podbean.com/2012/05/17/season-4-episode-19-part-1/
Thor is my favoritest Hero ever in case you didn’t know that by now
OMFG.
I don’t know how else to adequately describe how much I loved this movie.
I saw The Avengers twice in 2 days. The first time after an epic all-day Marvel Movie Marathon with my NBFF Geek Outlaw.
And the second time on Sunday morning with my Mom and SO. Afterwards we went to Smash Burger which I thought was really funny. I’m not gonna lie, I’m probably going to go back a third time and see it in 3D. I don’t normally watch 3D movies that were converted in post-production but I’ve heard the 3D is pretty good so I’m willing to give it a shot. It was also one of the funniest movies I’ve seen. I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard since Bridesmaids.
WARNING: Spoilers ahead! So don’t read past this if you don’t want to be, umm, spoiled.
When Thor came out I predicted that Loki would be the main villain in The Avengers (that much was obvious from the teaser after the end credits) and that the plot would center on preventing Ragnarök, a major plot point in the Thor comics. And while it wasn’t exactly an apocalypse (unless you were on the island of Manhattan), the end of the world as we know it was a real possibility so I’m going to consider myself 12% right, with an argument being made for 15%.
-
The basic plot line is as follows: After letting himself fall (not being pushed…but nice word twisting there Loki) Loki explores the tree of life for a bit before forming a partnership with The Other (frequent Whedon collaborator Alexis Denisof) and the Chitauri. Loki agrees to give The Other the Tesseract (aka Cosmic Cube) seen in Captain America in return for an army to conquer Earth. We humans aren’t too big on that and we fight back as usual, this time relying on The Avengers, a hodge podge team of superheroes led by Nick Fury and SHIELD, a super secret agency. Loki uses that brilliantly deceptive tongue of his to divide our heroes before they see the big picture and come together to save mankind and Manahattan (with the help of some real life Army Reservists by the by).
Now, I’m going to be nitpicky for just a second and point out a few things that differ from the comics. Nick Fury/SHIELD did not assemble The Avengers. We don’t get to see Avengers founding members Ant-Man (Henry Pym) and Wasp (Janet van Dyne). Captain America, Black Widow and Hawkeye are later additions to the team. The Chitauri are a race of history-meddling shapeshifters and we never really see their true form. This shapeshifting ability was apparently tossed for the movie.
And I am completely OK with all of those changes.
Avengers assemble!
Iron Man (Tony Stark):
Tony (Robert Downey Jr) got most of the best lines in the film. His nicknames for the other heroes were HI-larious. The ones that immediately come to mind are Legolas (Hawkeye) and Point Break (Thor) but there were so many others that I can’t think of off the top of my head. He had a great bromance going on with Bruce Banner and I was happy to see the two wunderkinds drive off together at the end of the film. I thought it was interesting that they chose to completely ignore Rhodey (War Machine) since he would probably only skip this fight if he were trapped in an underground bunker somewhere, but I can’t say that I’m surprised. There was already so much going on and you can only say “we sent them halfway around the world for their own safety” so many times. They did feature Pepper Potts quite prominently though. I’m not a big Gwyneth Paltrow fan but I do enjoy her as Pepper so that was fine. Anyone else notice that Tony wore a Black Sabbath t-shirt for a large chunk of the film? A nice little reference to their song “Iron Man” that I found amusing.
Hulk (Bruce Banner):
Mark Ruffalo is officially my favorite Bruce Banner. He was positively adorkable. His shy, soft-spoken good naturedness (is that even a word?) was so appealing that I never want to see anyone else play him ever again. It was a very good call to model Hulk after Ruffalo using the same technology used for Avatar as opposed to having him be pure CGI. I read that Hulk was a combination of Ruffalo and a male stripper from Long Island which is awesome. At the end of The Incredible Hulk it seemed like Bruce was working on controlling his alter ego. It appears that he succeeded. Much like his evolution in the comics, we see Hulk being uncontrollable when he’s caught off guard and in control when it’s his choice to change. I’m not surprised that we didn’t see Betty Ross but I was expecting some kind of reference to General Ross, especially after watching the Agent Coulson one-shot “The Consultant.” Hulk had so many great moments in this film but my favorite is probably when he picked up Loki and started smashing him back and forth before calling him a “puny god.” Harry Dean Stanton had a funny little cameo as a security guard that witnesses Hulk’s plummet to Earth and solemnly informs Bruce that he has “a condition.”
Thor (Thor):
How they planned on getting Thor (Chris Hemsworth) to Earth after the destruction of the Bifröst was something I was very interested to see. Loki comments that it must have taken a lot of dark magic on Odin’s part to make it happen. I’m looking forward to seeing the repercussions of that in Thor 2. Now that the cosmic cube resides in Asgard, Thor should be able to return to Earth and Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) at will until the Bifröst can be remade. Jane was one of those “we sent her far, far away” quickies and that’s too bad. I would have liked to have seen her go up against flying monkey Erik and her (sure to be hilarious) reaction to Loki in all his Asgardian finery. This ordeal was so much more personal for Thor. Within a very short time he lost his kingship, was betrayed by his brother, changed his whole mentality, fell in love, lost his brother, and had to save Midgard. The fact that he has an “only I can be mad at and deal with my brother” attitude in the beginning is certainly understandable. And his comment about Loki being adopted made me LOL. It was fun to see Thor duke it out with Hulk. It’s made clear in the movie that he’s one of the few individuals who CAN be a match for Hulk. Go figure that it would take a god. The best part; however, was the conclusion of that fight. Having been interrupted by a fighter jet distraction the first time around, Hulk took the opportunity of punching Thor across Grand Central after they worked together to bring down a Chitauri mega monster. Brilliant.
Captain America (Steve Rogers):
Poor Cap. Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) is such a smart and instinctive guy but the fact that he’s a fish out of water and placed next to two of the world’s foremost geniuses, makes him seem a bit dense (his excitement at understanding the flying monkey reference was endearingly adorable). But his leadership skills and strategic ability are never questioned by his fellow heroes once the fighting begins. This is a guy whose entire world has been flipped upside down and yet he doesn’t even flinch. People need saving and by God, he’s going to save them. This includes a cute blonde waitress (Ashley Johnson). Anyone else find it interesting that her nametag said “Beth” which is a nickname for Elizabeth? You know what else is a nickname for Elizabeth? Betsy. As in Betsy Ross aka Golden Girl, Cap’s onetime partner and girlfriend. I can’t help but wonder if that is a coincidence. Considering it’s Joss Whedon, I’m thinking it had to be intentional.
Black Widow (Natsha Romanoff) / Hawkeye (Clint Barton):
I seriously want to see more of the Hawkeye/Black Widow relationship. I think they should give the two of them their own Marvel Cinematic Universe movie. There is plenty of history (and sexual tension) between the two of them to make it interesting and entertaining. I don’t know what it is about Jeremy Renner, but there is something very appealing about him. He’s not your stereotypically handsome action star but I kinda wanna jump his bones anyways. I think I’ll add him to the runners up list. I’ve always been told that Scarlett Johansson is a bit of a bee-yatch but I’ve seen her perform on Broadway (in Arthur Miller’s A View from the Bridge) and she is a fantastic actress. I also think she’s one of the sexiest actresses working today (Geek Outlaw thinks so too). She certainly holds her own with the boys in this movie. Considering Black Widow and Hawkeye are ordinary humans (albeit with extraordinary skill sets), you have to suspend belief a bit when watching them survive falls and body slams that would normally kill a person instantly but barely leave a scratch on them. And yet, I didn’t care about the improbability of it all. The awesomeness outweighed the practicality for me.
SHIELD:
Samuel L. Jackson is having way too much fun playing Nick Fury, creator and director of SHIELD (sorry, I don’t like putting periods between the letters, I think it looks weird) and I’m having way too much fun watching him. It’s nice to see him have more to do than scold Tony or show up in the end credits. Nick Fury started SHIELD after WWII (he mentions his friend Howard Stark as a fellow founding member during Iron Man 2) so if you’re not a reader of the comics you might be wondering why he looks 45 years old. They don’t explain it in any of the movies but his aging has been slowed by the Infinity Formula. Just so you know.
I started getting nervous when they got personal with Agent Coulson (Clark Gregg) at the beginning of the movie. That never bodes well for someone as cryptic as him. My psychic movie skills kicked in and I figured out what was going to happen to him pretty quickly. I’m in mourning. Even though his character was manufactured purely for the screen and doesn’t appear in the comics, I’m going to miss not seeing him weave in and out of the various individual films. If you haven’t seen it, watch “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Thor’s Hammer.” It’s Agent Coulson showing off more than his wit for once. RIP Phil.
Had Joss Whedon’s Wonder Woman flick taken off, Cobie Smulders would most likely have been cast as Diana. But that project was shelved and instead she won the role of Agent Maria Hill (beating out Firefly alum Morena Baccarin). Boy, is she a looker. Wow. She also stars on How I Met Your Mother with Alexis Denisof’s wife and Whedon regular, Alyson Hannigan. Cobie wasn’t given a trainer for the movie so she hired one herself to teach her how to act like an agent. I like a girl who does her homework.
The 12-person SHIELD Council should be more in shadow, we shouldn’t be able to see their faces. No one knows who they are, not Nick Fury, not even each other. If we can see their faces, we can use facial recognition software to find out who they are. But that’s me being nitpicky.
The guy on the bridge playing Galaga? Classic.
The Helicarrier is a character in its own right and plays a huge part in the film. It exists because a mobile headquarters is much more difficult for an evil organization *coughHYDRAcough* to find and destroy and protects any potential host nations from being a target. They took it one step further in the movie and gave it cloaking technology which was totally badass and a nice little treat for this Trekkie.
Loki:
I’m very quickly becoming a huge fan of Tom Hiddleston. I had never seen him before Thor but he’s perfection as Loki. And this is coming from someone whose way into anything related to Norse mythology. In the comics Loki is the first villain The Avengers go up against so I was happy to see that they kept that. It would have been much easier to pick a different villain and avoid the whole magic vs. science conundrum. The various directors, producers, writers, Marvel Execs, etc. did an excellent job of making the magic scientific and the science magical so it didn’t feel forced and it made sense to the laymen. They get an A+ for teamwork.
Anyone who leaves the movie theatre before a Marvel movie’s end credits are over is an idiot. There’s always some little nugget of awesomesauce just waiting to delight our senses. In this case we got two of them. The first one shows The Other talking to a mysterious master about the fact that humans are not to be trifled with. They don’t say who this master is but I’m thinking its Thanos. If anyone has another theory I’d like to hear it but I’d bet money that I’m right. The second one has our heroes sitting around eating shawarma just after the battle while the employees clean up debris in the background. No one speaks (although Bruce does start chuckling) and it’s hilarious.
I’m a massive Whedonite so I’m probably totally biased but I have to give Joss Whedon mad props for this movie. It’ll probably go down as one of my top 5 favorite movies ever and a lot of that is due to him. He rewrote the script and had a vision that wove together four different franchises into one seamless and elegant package. The combination of action, drama and humor is classic Joss. I think that one of the other directors would have made an excellent film as well but Joss made it magical and I hope they are smart enough to keep him as the director of all future Avenger films.
I hope so, Joss. I hope so.
“These people shouldn’t be in the same room let alone on the same team—and that is the definition of family” – Joss Whedon
5 out of 5 Sci-Fives!
Wanna make out?
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a nerd in possession of an illness must go on a Jane Austen bender.
At least it does for this nerd.
For someone who fancies themselves a writer (or an aspiring one at least) I don’t write nearly enough about books. Which is strange considering the rate in which I devour them.
I don’t know what it is but whenever I get sick (I’m just about recovered from the second illness in a row) I become obsessed with something and hunt down every form of it that I can. About half the time it’s Jane Austen.
What can I say? I’m a chick.
So it was this last time around. I watched every version of Pride and Prejudice I own (1980, 1995, and 2005 twice), Sense & Sensibility, Emma, Becoming Jane, Lost in Austen…I even watched Vanity Fair hoping it would be Austen-esque (it wasn’t, it was awful in spite of all the great actors in it). And I finally got around to reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.
Girls! The Pentagram of Death!
I don’t know about you but I always have a stack of books as tall as I am that I need to read. I go through them pretty quickly but I’m constantly adding to it so the pile never really shrinks. And I just can’t bring myself to use the Kindle. I love the smell and the look and the feel of books too much. I have a BookMate and that’s good enough for me. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies has been in that pile for years now. Probably longer than any other book. I didn’t pick it up for two reasons. The first being that when I got it I was on another Austen bender and had just reread the OG P&P, Darcy’s Story and Mr. Darcy, Vampyre and I was kind of Austened out. The second reason is that it has zombies. And y’all know that my biggest fear is zombies.
And the Violator.
And Fire Marshall Bill.
But mostly zombies.
But every time I went to the pile my eyes would inevitably land on the Seth Grahame-Smith redux. I knew it would be good; I’d read and fell in love with Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (which I HIGHLY recommend). So on a (totally inevitable) whim I grabbed it from the pile last week.
To my very pleasant surprise I not only loved it but it didn’t scare me. No nightmares, no heart palpitations, no slamming it shut. I even studied the pictures with glee! Though I’ll probably never look at cauliflower the same way again… but mostly I laughed. A lot.
Mmmmmm....cauliflower brains......
Of all Jane Austen’s characters, I’ve always related the most to Elizabeth Bennet. She’s stubborn, witty, and says things that are borderline inappropriate. I would really like to believe that, in the event of a zombie apocalypse, I would rise to the occasion as a zombie slayer like the Lizzy in this version (albeit without the slow zombification of my BFF). Imagining her kicking Darcy in the face had me in stitches for a good 5 minutes at least. Seeing Lady Catherine de Bourgh make her do one-fingered handstands and fight ninjas was epic. Even the detail of modifying the questions printed at the end was hysterical.
Take that you woeful wooer!
And now the truth. I feel like I’m going to end up in literary hell for saying this, but I actually enjoyed it more than the original.
There. I said it.
Now please excuse me while I go and administer the seven cuts of shame.
***
“And to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”
I do, Mr. Darcy! I do!
I’m sick for the second time in a week and I have a gopher that is destroying my yard and my life. So lame. Just before I got sick the first time I participated in a Star Trek discussion with Isaac and Mark over at World’s Best Podcast for a new section of the podcast they are calling “Ten Forward.”
If this all rings a bell it’s because I participated in a Daredevil discussion with them about a month ago.
For the first episode of Ten Forward we discussed our favorite episodes from Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager, and Star Trek: Enterprise. I LOVE talking about Star Trek so this was a really fun one for me. Hope you like it!
Just like before, WordPress has issues with the above audio player and it can take a while to buffer. If you’re having problems just click here to listen to the podcast. Sorry about that, I’m trying to figure out how to fix it.
Look for more stimulating Star Trek conversations in the future!
Wow. This is my 100th blog post. It kinda crept up on me. I wasn’t sure what to do to mark this momentous (for me, at least) occasion. Then I thought, hey! I’ll make it about the fans! They can ask whatever questions they want and I’ll give them advice or whatever. People are always asking me for advice. Heck, I could moonlight as a therapist for a few of my friends.
The response was way bigger than I thought it would be and the questions very different then I thought they would be (I didn’t think there would be so many personal questions!) Because I was pulling the questions from multiple areas I apologize if I missed any. I tried to answer all of them.
But mostly, I just want to say thank you. For supporting me, for sticking by me, and for being such a wonderful community of fellows nerds and nerdettes.
***
Jamie A: A Star Trek mirror universe based TV series would be awesome (but incredibly unlikely), which time period in the franchise would be best to see in the mirror universe and why?
I’d actually love to see a TV show based on Sela. About a week ago I participated in a podcast discussion with the World’s Best Podcast guys about how that character was sorely underutilized during the TNG years. It would be a great opportunity to see more of the elusive Romulans and get to know Tasha Yar a bit better as her mirror universe daughter discovers more about her roots.
Rob W: How do you feel about Star Wars: The Old Republic and the new 1.2 Legacy patch?
I don’t play SW:TOR. *GASP!* I know. Blasphemy, right? It’s actually pretty rare for me to play video games in general these days. It’s not that I don’t love them, I do. I used to play them all the time and I’ll sit and watch other people play them for hours. But I’ve developed bad wrist problems and combine that with the fact that I have ridiculously tiny hands and it’s physically painful for me to use the controllers for more than a few minutes at a time. I know, it sucks.
Troi D: I hear your sister in law is pretty cool can you tell us more about her?
Well, the sci-fi gods were definitely smiling down on my brother when they handed him a girl named “Troi.” And yo- I mean SHE is as awesome as her name. Plus, she gave me an adorable nephew to dote on and warp into a mini nerd. I’m super lucky in that my whole family is super cool and super supportive.
Ian F : With the upcoming Geek Fest Film known as The Avengers coming in little over 2 weeks to North America (rest of the world gets it sooner, curse them . .) How are you preparing to come down from the AWESOME HIGH that will be experiencing that movie? or are you prepared at all?
I’m 99.99% sure that I will have multiple nerdgasms in the movie theatre. I kind of feel sorry for the people who will be sitting around me because there will be lots of squealing and clapping coming from my direction. My plan is to have a Marvel Movie Marathon at my house along with Geek Outlaw and some other friends before we go see The Avengers. I think we calculated the total running time of the 5 previously released Marvel movies at 10 hours and 1 minute. That includes The Incredible Hulk, Captain America, Iron Man, Iron Man 2, and Thor. It’s going to be an epic day.
José H: If Captains Kirk (circa 1968) and Reynolds (circa 2003) get into an argument and end up in fisticuffs, who would win?
Oh man, that’s a really tough question Jose. They’re both known for their bare knuckle brawling skills. I’m going to say Kirk and here’s why. Yes, Mal is a badass but he only ever fights humans (for the sake of argument I’m going to consider Reavers human) whereas Kirk has fought and defeated multiple types of alien species. If I were to witness Mal kicking Gorn’s ass I might have to rectify this logic but for now I’m sticking to my guns.
Justin R: will you go out with me?
Kevin H: will you marry me? 
Y’all are so sweet and I’m very flattered but I’m spoken for.
Geek Outlaw: If you could have ANY character written for yourself to play in the entire Star Trek universe, what would they be like? Name? Race? Background? Association? Personality? Level of Bad-Ass-ness?
This question was answered about 13 years ago back when I was really into RPGing. Geek Outlaw, I’m not sure you even know this about me (?) but I was a crew member on three different Starfleet ships at one point. I even have a monstrously huge binder full of everything I ever wrote for all three ships as well as a print out of every page of startrek.com for reference. My mom shudders when she looks at all the paper I used back then. I was always a Trill and I always somehow ended up with a symbiont. I remember being a Stellar Cartographer nicknamed “Mo” on one ship when I was at SFSU. In High School I was Tra’cia Ru’maro and eventually Tra’cia Dax (I know, super original, right?), XO of the USS Redemption, a new class of warship that had recovered Borg technology incorporated into its systems. Personality was always pretty much on par with the real me….with maybe just slightly more badassery
Cyric C: Nerd girl, I am a Geek in a relationship with a nonintellectual type. We have a number of things in common because I also enjoy a wide range of more physically oriented pursuits, but lately it’s just been a real drag because as I learn and discover new things that I am in awe of, she couldn’t care less. Should I leave or is there perhaps an alternative route to go?
If by “nonintellectual-type” you’re calling her dumb then I wouldn’t worry about whether or not you should leave her cause chances are she’ll be leaving you first for being a jerk. But if you mean to say that you’re in a mixed marriage with a muggle then I can sympathize. Opposites attract so many of us date/marry non-nerds. My advice is to enjoy the activities you can do together and find a group of friends that you can do nerdy stuff with. There are plenty of guilds, groups, and reenacting clubs out there. If that’s just not enough and she’s not willing to at least try getting into something you love then it probably isn’t meant to be.
Kyle S: I’m a nerd guy and always dreamed of dating a Hot Nerd Girl. How does one go about finding a HNG and how would one approach said HNG? Being an HNG yourself, I’m sure you have much unique insight that could help all Nerd Guys everywhere.
Having the confidence to approach and ask is more than half the battle. I have yet to meet an HNG (and I’ve met a lot of them) that isn’t a sweetheart. If an HNG catches your eye at a convention or your local comic book store and you don’t see a ring on her finger, go for it. If she’s taken chances are she’ll let you down nicely. If she’s not nice about it then consider yourself lucky that she’s saving you the trouble of having to deal with a mean girl. Same thing goes for the ladies. Nasty people aren’t worth your time or energy.
Steve L: Well until recently people would and have been bullied for being who they are. Whether that’s being a general otaku/nerd/fan-person or just being dorky, a bit strange and weird, there are people out there that have been terrorized by being bullied, and I hate to say this but not just in school in your younger years. Oh if it were that easy, but at work and now especially on the net. There are people scared to post up and speak out because of the ramifications that can happen, and if you speak up you’re opening yourself to being ostracized from your fellow workers for fear they might get in trouble by talking to you. I’d like to ask you what your opinion on the subject and what you can offer those out there to stop being scared, be strong, and be able to confront those bullying them and others. That’s my question for your 100th post and congrats on that by the way as well.
Steve, this is such an important topic of conversation and one that I feel very passionately about. I cannot stand seeing people get picked on and have gotten into a few altercations myself trying to defend people. I feel like bullying in school is starting to get a bit better. It’s far from solved but at least we’re on the right track. No one wants to come to school the next day and find out a kid killed themselves. The slogan can be a bit cheesy but the “it gets better” and No H8 campaigns are making a dent and are applicable to anyone who feels they are an outsider.
Workplace bullying is so very different. These are people who should really know better and are throwing any modicum of professionalism out the window. A few years back I worked for a very small company that didn’t have any kind of HR department. I’ve got a great sense of humor and love to joke around but there was blatant sexual harassment from an individual that I couldn’t continue to ignore. In the end I left the company. Sometimes you just have to do that. I went on to work for another company that likewise didn’t have an HR department but who were excellent at solving people’s issues. I never had one complaint the entire time I worked there. It’s tough to leave an abusive situation in this economy but if you’re emotional well-being is a stake and there is no one who can help you, it’s worth it to leave.
I feel like this topic needs its own blog because I have so much more to say about this.
Brandon K: Tracy, Congratz on the 100th post!!! You are making me look bad w/ my lack of writing lately – BUT, the redesign of my site is live as of this afternoon and I’m feeling inspired!!! Background: I am the proud Nerdy father of three Nerdy daughters (two 17yr olds and an 11yr old) and between the four of us we cover just about everything from Firefly and Doctor Who to Zombies and the apocalypse. But enough about me – on to YOU! (wait, that sounded bad . . . . don’t tell my wife . . . . ) Anywho – my question to you is: If nerds across the known verse could only remember one thing about you and what you’re passionate about – what would you want your legacy to be? Can’t wait to read your answer!
Wow, great question! Tough though….there are so many different ways to answer this! I’m constantly striving to remind people that there are real heroes in this world. Men and women who would never admit that they are heroes but who are. These are not professional athletes, they are not actors, they are not carpet cleaners. They are the people who put their lives on the line every single day so that we don’t have to worry about our safety on a daily basis. I think everyone here knows that I come from a military family and they are certainly my main focus. I volunteer for Operation Gratitude, crochet scarves and write letters to include in care packages. But I extend that out to cops, firefighters, intelligence agencies, etc. The people who makes such huge sacrifices for complete strangers. Thor and Superman are fantastic, I love them and I obsess over them. But my personal superheroes are my Dad and my Brother.
Steven K: I love this question, I was just asked it in an interview, and since I only love it sarcastically, I’d like to share the pain: How would your friends describe you?
I tend to be very shy so I don’t make friends easily but when I do I’m extremely loyal. I’m also very awkward much of the time, even around people I’ve been friends with for years, which is totally weird and lame. My guy friends would tell you that I’m naïve and fit into that “little sister” niche but my girl friends would tell you that I’m an overprotective mama hen (no one gets roofied on my watch). But what people most often tell me is that I’m a sweetheart. I hate gossip and back stabbing so I don’t participate in it and I avoid people who do. Life’s too short to put up with all that crap. My friend Brian just called me a “closet super freak.” I’m going to take that as a compliment… And I hope they would all say that I have a great sense of humor
Nishi D: What advice do you have for aspiring Nerd Girls struggling to make it in a Nerd Boys’ and Non-Nerd Girls’ world?
Lisann Z: Do you have some words of wisdom for other hot nerd girls?
Just be yourself. That’s all I’ve ever done. It has never been my goal to fit in anywhere and I’ve always been a bit of an outsider everywhere. Which is just fine with me.
Shawn H: Bang Marry Kill: Picard, Kirk, and Sisko. Go.
Aww shit! Torture me why don’t you! LOL. Ugh. Questions like this are really tough for me but here goes. I’m gonna kill Sisko because (and only because!) he’s sort of in weird Prophet limbo-land anyways and that makes it mighty convenient for me. I’m most attracted physically to Picard and if I have to wake up next to one of them everyday (uhh, yes please) I guess it would be him. Kirk’s a total manwhore but the flip side of that is he’s gotta know all kinds of crazy awesome tricks, right? So as long as he’s cleared by medical I’ll bang Kirk.
Chad E: Definition of hump day. Go.
Wednesday, you dirty-minded man you!
Kenneth W: What is the moment in your life that you feel pride for being a nerd?
When I see other nerds coming out of their shells and being proud of who they are.
Troi D: Why is Bill Murray so awesome?
I think his awesomeness defies explanation. It’s a gift that God bestows on but a few.
Kevin L: Create your own super-hero (the world certainly needs one). What would your super-hero name be? What would your super-powers be, and your weakness? What would you believe in, and why?
Wow, y’all are really putting me to work with these questions! I’m actually in the process of creating my own unique HNG superhero costume for Comic Con so it’s funny that you asked this. Princess Trek has been a nickname of mine for about, ohh…15 years….so I’ll go with that as my name in lieu of HNG. I’d LOVE to be able to fly. I dream a lot and at least half the time I have the ability to fly. Super healing would be great too. I’m thinking I’d like a couple of badass Katanas as well. My weakness would be the sun. I have sensitive eyes and the sun gives me headaches so I’d need to have an awesome VISOR as part of my outfit. It’d be cool to work for the government, like GI Joe or SHIELD and defend the US (and World) against supervillians and terrorists.
Michael H: i don’t have a question, but I would like to request more and sexier photo shoots.
I’ll work on that. Though I tend to be a bit of a prude so it may require copious amounts of alcohol to accomplish.
Ray N: Why aren’t there any HNG tees and other assorted SWAG, Tracy? 
I’ve thought about it a bit but I’m not sure many people would buy it LOL. Correct me if I’m wrong! Maybe I should have a t-shirt designing contest. Thoughts?
Kenneth W: How has been a hot nerd girl made your life better? How has it made it worse?
I’ve always been a nerd so I really can’t imagine what my life would be like without sci-fi, fantasy, etc. I get so unbelievably happy when I discover a new book or tv show, I literally light up like a firecracker. I am passionate about my nerdy pursuits so I feel like it makes my life better on a daily basis. Being a girl in the nerd world hasn’t really affected me other than the curious looks I get when I walk into a convention…although…that is much less the case today. It used to be that I was one of only a few girls in the whole place, now conventions are overrun with hot, nerdy ladies which is fantastic.
I really can’t think of any way in which it’s made my life worse. My look isn’t for everyone but it certainly never hurts to be considered attractive. I mentioned before that I tend to be socially awkward. If anything, being nerdy has helped with that. I may not be the best at contributing to a conversation but the second Star Trek or Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter comes up I’m the liveliest person in the group.
Helen D: When do you most wish you had the power of the Force? For example, last night after my shower I pulled back the shower curtain only to realize I had forgotten my towel on the back of the door…
I hate it when I do that! So annoying. I wish I could use the Force to make meals since I’m such a terrible cook. Either that or I need a replicator. Either will do.
Robbie B: What are your thoughts on Stargate SG-1, Atlantis, and Universe? I havn’t seen blog posts about them, please tell me that you have watched them! Also, have you watched any of the Warehouse 13 series? If so, what are your thoughts?
Wow, you’re right, I haven’t written about them! I actually just put all of the Stargate shows in my Netflix queue the other day so I could revisit them. I’ll try to write a whole post about it soon. But the short answer is that I loved SG-1. I watched Atlantis in waves (har har) and that’s why I’m planning to go back and watch it from start to finish. I need to catch up on Universe and I’ve watched Warehouse 13 only sporadically. I wish I could skip sleeping because I always have so much going on, it’s really hard to fit everything in.
James V: Do you like my new haircut???
Send me a picture and I’ll let you know.
Kenneth W: What would you personally like to change about nerd culture?
Just that nerds be proud of who they are. It’s easier now than ever. Being a nerd/geek has become much more socially acceptable so why deny your inner nerd? Let your geek flag fly!
Phil K: If you could be half human, half sausage, which half of your body would you want to be sausage and why?
My bottom half cause then I could eat myself out. That’s vulgar. I can’t believe I just said that.
Tidus J: when did you know you were a nerd?
I don’t remember ever not being a nerd. Star Trek has been on the family TV since I was a baby and I fell in love with comics not long after I learned to read.
Brett W: when did you know you were hot?
When my guy friends started telling me I was. Probably around age 14.
Nick J: When did you know you were a hot nerd?
When a friend told me I needed to call my blog Hot Nerd Girl.
Jesse L: If a gun was put to your head, which would you choose? Star Trek or Star Wars?
Star Trek will always be my first love. Plus, there’s more of it to watch so if I was marooned on a desert island with only one franchise I’d be entertained for a longer period of time if I picked Star Trek.
Rick S: If you could recreate one of your favorite movies which one would it be and what actors currently still in the biz would be in it? Unlimited budget…
Oh wow, good question. Hmmm….I’m actually not a big fan of remakes and I would probably cry if anyone tried to remake something like Princess Bride or Legend. Can I pick a movie that I would like to see remade because I DIDN’T like it? Like Catwoman or FF Silver Surfer?
Kim C: when is Shatner cooler than Kirk ?
5 years ago I would have said “never, Shatner is a douche, viva la Kirk!” but Shatner has actually gotten pretty awesome and less douchy in the past few years. So I’m going to say when he’s “singing.”
Kenneth W: What instance made you feel shame over nerd culture in general?
There are certain websites that shall remain nameless in which people log on anonymously and say very demeaning things about women and each other. I wouldn’t say that I feel shame but I’m really not a big fan of those. Or of people being mean in general.
Chris T: You aren’t just nerd girl, you are hot nerd girl. With that established, my question is about your hotness. What is your favorite cut of undergarment?
As a guy do you know the various cuts of women’s undergarments? If so, I’m not sure if that’s cool or creepy LOL. For underwear, bikini cut. For bras, demi.
Brian T: What is your Zombie Apocalypse Plan?
There’s this as well as a rendezvous point with my family members. Let’s just say that I’m grateful I come from a family that’s full of active and retired military personnel.
Ricky D: If they were to make Firefly season 2 (gawd I wish), would you rather it be pre-Serenity with Wash and Book still alive, or post-Serenity with River as the new pilot and a widowed and possibly pregnant Zoe?
I’m all about moving forward, not looking back. It wouldn’t be the same without Wash and Book, and just the thought of it makes me horribly depressed, but I don’t think you could go back in time without making it weird.
Dan M: what’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
Talking nerdy to you.
David F: What’s your favorite Nerd candy flavor?
Strawberry.
Jake S: Goku vs. Superman?
What this guy said…
Rob G: ok iknow its not a question for me but i would like to weigh in on goku vs superman. yes superman is fast and can shoot heat rays out of his xray eyes, and is powered by the sun thus making him one OP motha…. this being said just about every character in DBZ seems to shoot lazers out of something and can fly and are ridiculously fast. the biggest difference is in power source. superman has sun, goku has getting pissed and sensu beans. by this logic goku wins because he could just blow up the sun and instant transmission out this bitch with the rest of the planet while superman could be left scratching his ass wondering what happened. one spirit bomb, all im saying.
Actually, I never really got into Dragon Ball Z. That was more my brother’s thing. So I’ll go with Superman just because I like him more.
Mike W: How do I score an invitation to your birthday party next year?
Hmmm….maybe I’ll have a contest or something.
Alvaro A: Would you be open to an interview?
Sure.
Rick S: If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
No, I’d say thank ya kindly.
Jin R: X-Men vs Avengers?
Can I have both? Thor is my favorite but the X-Men are my second favorite.
Jin R: sex or wow?
Sex.
Steven H: Batman vs. Wolverine?
Geez, y’all ask some tough questions. I’m terrible at choosing between two things that I love. This came up on the facebook page a while back and I went with Wolverine then.
Jin R: money or gold?
Gold-pressed latinum.
Mike C: oh man, I really want to take advantage of this opportunity. but I really have no questions in mind… and only an hour to think of one…. cuz most of the ones I’d come up with I know the answer to. Lol. Oooh ooh I got one. Of any character in the Star Trek universe….. who would you want to get absolutely plastered drunk with?
I can see why you would have trouble considering you’ve known me for more than a decade LOL. Easy. Jadzia Dax. That girl knows how to party.
Kevin L: Why do you host the HNG community? What does it mean to you?
It all started with the blog. The community has been the best, most deliciously awesome cherry on top ever. Honestly, it means the world to me and I’ll tell you why. Because there are soooo many places on the internet where people go and are hyper critical and downright mean to each other (usually anonymously) and I have a real problem with that. It’s my humble opinion that the world is mean enough to nerds and outsiders, the least we can do is be nice to each other. The vast majority of the time everyone on the HNG page is friendly and supportive of both me and the other people participating. I feel like it’s a safe place to congregate. I can’t tell you how much that positive energy means to me. Y’all make me smile and laugh every day and I love ya for it.
Jesse V: Which Final Fantasy character out of all the series would you consider to be the best of all?
Cid. LOL.
Brian L: How old are you? What is your occupation? Where did you go to college? What did you study? When did you graduate?
Old enough to do everything I want legally. Writer (an aspiring one at least). San Francisco State University. Theatre. A while ago.
Robert H: Where can I get my very own Hot Nerd Girl? 
Frequent the places they frequent. Best place is always at conventions, they have the highest concentrations.
Mark E: ontogeny recapitulates ??? (Milk and Cookies if you get the right answer…)
Haeckel was a lying liar who lies.
I can haz cookies?
John G: Jedi or Sith?
I’m a sucker for the good guys. I’ll go with Jedi. From an acting standpoint though, it’d be more fun to play a Sith.
Shauna H: how do you choose your outfits/costumes/cosplay? Do you do period garb? Have you created any of your own stuff? What made you choose this name for this page? (thanks for answering)
I usually do surveys. Give a list of 5 or 6 options and tally up the votes. Batgirl I did because I saw the costume at Halloween and I liked it. I’ve done period garb in the past but not in several years. I love it though and I’m dying to put together my own Valkyrie costume. I’m just now starting to create my own costumes. I created a Pris (Blade Runner) costume for a friend’s birthday party this past weekend and I’m starting to work on two more for Comic Con. We’ll see how that goes. I’m a very crafty person but that creativity doesn’t seem to extend to clothing (I’m really NOT into fashion, like, at all). I didn’t choose the name HNG, a friend did. It took him a while to sell me on it and it still embarrasses me but I’m tying really hard to get over that and just own it.
Jeff P: is Urkel a superhero?
I think that Urkel started out as a great role model. He was smart and confident. Same with Screech from Saved by the Bell. Then at some point both characters underwent a weird transformation and became bumbling idiots who spent half their time running into walls and falling over chairs. I’d like to have a heated discussion with whoever made those creative decisions because I think they did a disservice to nerds everywhere. For me the real life superheroes are the armed forces. I was raised by military personnel and my brother is currently serving so I may be a bit biased in that regard.
Edward W: Is there a Hot Nerd Girl boot camp my girlfriend can attend?
Ha! No, but that sounds like a lot of fun! We could put each other’s hair in side buns and talk about the dreamiest Captains and have Tribble fights!
***
So what do y’all think? Is “Ask a Nerd Girl” something I should do more often? Or was it totally lame and should be jettisoned into space? Should it be a permanent fixture with its own page on the blog? Let me know in the comments.
